1. Andre Agassi and Steffi Graf, T-Mobile
Is there a worse ad on television than this pan-European monstrosity by Saatchi & Saatchi? Probably not. Andre Agassi looks extremely uncomfortable playing out a dated idea. And pity poor Steffi. Turning up in the last three seconds of a crap ad to support her less successful husband is not how we thought the seven-times Wimbledon champion would be spending her early retirement.
2. David Ginola, Carte Noir
There's no doubt that David Ginola is an attractive man. But this campaign, by the Euro RSCG network, left woman all over the country feeling under-whelmed. If the unconvincing TV slot wasn't bad enough, the press execution (with the long-haired one half-naked and covered in baby oil) really took the biscuit.
3. David Beckham, Vodafone
A bloke in a supermarket spots David Beckham in a checkout queue and takes a picture of him on his Vodafone picture phone. The acting gives a whole new meaning to the word "wooden". These days, Beckham can be seen playing football for Real Madrid in a shirt sponsored by Siemens.
4. Tim Henman, Ariel
Henman becomes more synonymous with Wimbledon with every semi-final he loses. So getting him to wash his Wimbledon whites with Ariel was a cute idea from Leo Burnett. But if you get a star without a personality to advertise a product without a personality the result will surely be a forgettable ad.
5. Michael Owen, Sporties
The crappest of the many crap ads that star Michael Owen. Not even Owen's most ardent fan would take pleasure from seeing him chased by children while expounding the virtues of a breakfast cereal. Shame on you, McCann-Erickson.
6. Thierry Henry, Renault
For whatever reason, French footballers seem to be able to construct more intelligent sentences than their English counterparts. So Thierry Henry was a good choice for Publicis' "va va voom" execution. But if you overexpose any Arsenal player you'll end up annoying a whole country.
7. Tiger Woods, Tag Heuer
Woods wins golf tournaments with monotonous regularity and this reliability makes him a good fit for the watch brand. But this is a soulless ad and, if Woods thinks it does anything for his bland image, he's sadly mistaken.
8. Ian Botham, Shredded Wheat
By eating Shredded Wheat as part of a healthy diet, Ian Botham might just be doing his heart some good. Who cares? Family man Botham was once a good fit for the brand but surely these ads are now past their sell-by date.
9. Roy Keane, Kit Kat
JWT's Kit Kat ad featured celebrities doing things that contradict their images. Roy Keane was sewing. Days later he had a break, but not a Kit Kat. Instead he stormed out of the World Cup, but not before calling the Republic of Ireland manager, Mick McCarthy, a c**t.
10. Martin Johnson, Wilkinson Sword
Asking Martin Johnson to advertise Wilkinson Sword is like asking Stevie Wonder to front an Optrex campaign. The England Rugby International might know his way round Twickenham, but the sexy face of shaving he ain't.