1. Chairman, HHCL & Partners
Poor Simon Burridge was supposed to be running the Lottery for Richard
Branson, but the bid failed so he took the top job at HHCL instead.
Since then he's mostly been mopping up the mess after losses such as AA
and Egg and dealing with reports of other key accounts also on the
2. Top PA at McCann-Erickson
Surely a contender, the job of looking after not only Ben Langdon, now
affectionately known as Osama Bin Langdon, but also the new chief
executive, Tamara Ingram. Neither of them are known for their easy-going
attitude to office life. Egos, anyone?
3. Kevin Roberts' speech-writer
The Saatchi & Saatchi worldwide chief isn't known for his shy, retiring
or even vaguely normal views on life. Pity the poor bugger who has to
proof, and probably write, his nuggets of thrusting, new-age
4. New-business director
Applies at any agency in London apart from Mother and BBH. At no other
time has Campaign ever heard gasps of delight when the £1 million
pitch for the Jersey Tourist Board is mentioned as a "hot tip".
5. Anyone in personnel
This year, practically every agency has suffered job losses. Pity those
who have to deal with the nitty-gritty after the chief executive's made
the sympathetic speech and got out before the missiles start flying.
6. Brett A Manger's dietician
How disillusioning it must be watching your client getting, well,
perhaps a little porky.
7. Anyone lunching with AMV's Michael Baulk
In a world dominated by international lunching champions, finding a
lunch companion who'd rather pick at melon and chicken is rather
refreshing. However, he's guaranteed to make his dining companion feel
like a greedy pig even if pudding is a mere dream.
8. Robin Wight's tailor
La Wight is famous for his collection of revolving bow-ties and other
foppish fashion favourites. However, it's not something his tailor would
want to publicise. Shame - it's lucrative business.
9. Agency chauffeur
Not a high-priority job within agency life at the moment, this one, as
minicab drivers in town see profits soar.
10. Receptionist at Messner Vetere Berger McNamee Schmetterer/Euro
She has to say it every time she picks up the phone. Tel 001 212 886
4100 - sorry, we're vile.