19 October, and the website of Saatchis' worldwide boss Kevin
Roberts could be ignored no longer:
Those with shares in the Publicis Group and of a nervous disposition may
wish to look away now. Everyone else who fancies a laugh about the
antics of Saatchi & Saatchi's worldwide boss, Kevin Roberts, should read
on.
He's been hired to be the resident chief executive of the Judge
Institute of Management - yes, folks, it's the business school
affiliated to Cambridge University.
But before the punters at the Institute line up to quiz our man, they
may want to check out some of Kev's ramblings before embarking on a
conversation.
And where better place to start than his very own website, which
comprises a veritable library of gems. "Take the iMac, the most sensual
product since the dildo," starts one priceless comment. "It absolutely
does not belong to Steve Jobs (Apple's chief executive). It belongs to
me. I want to hold the iMac. I want to choose the flavour of it. I want
to love it. The iMac belongs to me and I get to choose the flavour."
Right. We're also delighted to find out that in Kev's world, diplomacy
is "overrated". And that he loves dreams about "sex and business".
Please stop. Now.
As for Roberts' reactions to the residency at the Judge Institute -
well, if there were Oscars for meaningless management babble, our man
would be sweeping the board of all the trophies. "Inspiration out is, of
course, a direct result of inspiration in. Cambridge University, with
all its aura and traditions, inspires me," he spouts to anyone
unfortunate enough to be in earshot. We're expecting enrolments to
soar.
But we shouldn't be surprised - after all, this is the man who sent an
e-mail out to the Saatchi network just after the terrorist attack on New
York containing sentence after sentence of tasteless guff on how "only
by developing and expressing ideas will New York, America and the world
rebuild". He then went on to plug the agency: "Saatchis' people are
passionate, competitive and restless. We are ideas people. We have much
to continue." Strangely, it went down like a lead balloon.
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