It really shows the awfulness of an ad when it's not only a key contender for Turkey of the Year, but it also takes the number-one spot in the Top Ten Worst Celebrity Ads. What the hell was Ann Widdecombe thinking? For that matter, what the hell was Leagas Delaney thinking? This ad is so bad it beggars belief.
2. Iceland - Kerry Katona and Jason Donovan
Where to begin? Is it with the family retailer using a tainted brand spokesperson or for the ads that sound like they were written by a smoking monkey on a typewriter with half the keys missing? However, that's not it. Astoundingly, this gets worse with the inclusion of Jason Donovan in the retailer's idents for I'm A Celebrity ... Get Me Out Of Here!
3. HS&I - Sir Alan Sugar
He may have conquered the business world, but it's done nothing for his acting abilities, which are actually laughable. Sugar's promise that his fee for the ad is going to charity practically oozes out of him as if it were a green self-referential gloop that sticks in the throat and turns the stomach.
4. Post Office - various
Now this set of ads is a veritable who's who of D-list non-entities and has-beens. From Keith Harris to Westlife, the depths have been well and truly plumbed in this violation of all things advertising. Apparently, though, it works well on the public - go figure.
5. Birds Eye - Suggs
If that was the house Suggs was singing about in Our House, then I'm burning all of my Madness records. The family in the ad are possibly the most annoying to grace the telly since the Buckets (Bouquets), but Suggs manages to be more annoying than them. Now that's a real talent.
6. Littlewoods Christmas ad - Trinny and Susannah
This one is so confusing because the rest of the work over the year has actually been just about OK. But having the fashionistas first hotwiring and then joyriding Santa's futuristic sleigh into a wall cannot be good for anybody.
7. Abbey - Lewis Hamilton
We find it hard to blame young Lewis for this stinker (much as we would like to, bearing in mind his decision to leave the country). You can only work with what you're given, but the lazy and uncreative premise of comparing the performance of a bank to that of a Formula One pit-lane team is truly abysmal. Not even racing's young upstart can do anything about driving home this useless bit of thinking.
8. Nintendo - Nicole Kidman
For a woman who has become a global superstar as an actress, this turn in front of the camera is astounding for its utter atrociousness. Her performance is so wooden that you can practically see that big bag of cash reflected in her eyes.
9. Gordon's Gin - Gordon Ramsay
Wow, what a play on words. Seriously well done. Despite the fact that Ramsay stands for excellence, whereas Gordon's Gin isn't a premium product, BBH still tries to ram the two together because they have the same name. Badly conceived and badly put together.
10. Tesco - The Spice Girls
The premise and the choice of celebrities aren't that bad. And the statement it made for Tesco was also quite good - but this one slips in purely for Victoria Beckham's total lack of acting talent. Any more wooden and she'd have a woodpecker banging holes in her skull.