Have you ever wished you could get shot of some annoying people and
clients infesting the far reaches of your agency network by insulting
them in their native adspeak?
Well, now it is possible thanks to Scholz and Friends, which has
produced the first International Alternative Adspeak Dictionary.
(Readers who remember otherwise and feel the urge to say so should
remember that only very sad people write to magazines to correct such
In this fascinating tome we learn that the Flemish equivalent for a
Beattie (’a creative with a magnificent gift for self-publicity’) is
’een coctailschuimer’ (trans: ’someone who likes to be seen at every
opportunity at advertising events’). And if you want to be really
insulting to a German agency secretary, mutter the phrase
’Konigin-Mutter’ (trans: Queen Mother; cold-blooded secretary with a
sense of royalty).
Meanwhile, turning to the English section, clients and Campaign
reporters will be familiar with the ’iceberg strategy’ (trans: practice
of talking only about your shop-window accounts) favoured by top 30
agencies. Not bad so far, we hear you say. But it gets less plausible
elsewhere in the English section where much of the so-called adspeak
passed out of regular usage at least 20 years ago.
For example, who uses a ’Seymour’ these days when an account director
can quite easily trouser pounds 100,000 a year?