When someone extremely famous said, ’I know that half my
advertising budget is wasted but I don’t know which half’, he obviously
didn’t work for a manufacturer of feminine hygiene products. If he had,
he would have been perfectly aware that the half he spent on advertising
the damn things to men was the wasted half.
No doubt the media planners can produce very prolix arguments to show
that advertising on TV is the most cost-effective way of reaching the
target market. However, it still irritates the hell out of me, a mere
male, the number of times I have to sit through the bloody things (pun
intended) on TV.
And why so many? Once it was just tampons, but now its ’panty liners’ as
well. (My mum said nice girls wash their knickers everyday anyway.)
And why do they always have to use blue ink to demonstrate how absorbent
the things are? Is it that, although we can use our imagination to
visualise where they go, we are likely to be offended by being shown the
And now, it seems, the ’panty liners’ apparently aren’t any good if they
don’t have ’wings’, for God’s sake. How much better and more confident
the user feels, thanks to these new wonders of technology.
Then there is that ridiculous commercial where this nerdy teenager is on
holiday in Venice or somewhere and, after wittering on for hours about
how confident she feels, she signs off with the classic line: ’Now, the
only thing that can spoil my holiday is running out of film.’
I can think of a million things that might spoil her holiday, but
running out of film is not likely to be one of them. Why should she
anyway? There’s a goddamn kiosk on every corner, and even if she ran out
of money (much more likely) her friends have probably got rolls of the
stuff tucked in their panty-lined knickers!
So what’s my point. Oh yes, the copywriter who penned this appalling
load of drivel needs to get some serious lessons in real life, and as
for the client who approved it - I am lost for words.