’Sorry it took so long’ proclaims the strapline on the posters for
the ’new’ Flyte bar from Mars. Even the TV work shows women performing
violent acts on the Mars spokesperson for keeping Flyte from them for so
long. What on earth do they mean by ’Sorry it took so long’? What a load
Flyte bars are not new, Mars has been selling them for years. The only
difference is that it used to call it Milky Way, ’the sweet you could
eat between meals without ruining your appetite’.
Those of you who ate Milky Ways then will remember tasting the old
chocolate fluffy centre - as opposed to the new white fluffy centre. The
’new and improved’ Milky Way bears an uncanny resemblance to the new
Mars Flyte which is, in itself, supposed to be brand new. What is even
more bizarre is the Flyte bar comes packaged as two small bars in one
Funnily enough, so does Milky Way.
The only reason that the Flyte bar has taken so bloody long to produce
is that Mars had to first change the Milky Way’s choco-late fluffy
filling to a white fluffy filling and rebrand the product as ’new and
improved’, then remove a bit of fat from the chocolate fluffy
When you look closely at the fat content, it shouldn’t have taken them
that long to trim off a bit of sugar. I mean, Flyte contains 14.6g of
fat against Milky Way’s 16.8g, and 435kcals per 100g against Milky Way’s
Replace some of the sugar with Nutrasweet and I’m sure Mars’s average
dieter wouldn’t notice.
After all that hard work, Mars then puts it on the market, calls it
Flyte and positions it as a revolutionary low-fat chocolate bar for
susceptible women to buy.
Sorry it took so long? You liars!
Send your rants (around 400 words, please) to Diary Editor, Campaign,
174 Hammersmith Road, London W6 7JP.