CAMPAIGN DIARY: I’M ONLY A PUNTER BUT

Why are clients so thick? Not all clients, of course. Those who live at the very top of the corporate ladder seem to be smart ... sometimes.

Why are clients so thick? Not all clients, of course. Those who

live at the very top of the corporate ladder seem to be

smart ... sometimes.



There’s also youngsters - good brains but too green to participate.



However, I’m talking about the bulk of blue suits in the middle. OK, now

I know this sounds like something every creative would say, perched on

his pedestal, doing the prima donna quickstep. But the fact of the

matter is most of the clients I’ve worked with have no more than 27

working brain cells - and 26 of them are gainfully employed making sure

the poor sod doesn’t piss himself in public.



They want to art direct shoots themselves - from their office miles away

- driving directors to homicidal rages. Or insist on inane copy changes

that justify their existence (after all, anyone can write, right?) And

to think, it all started so well. You were awarded the business,

thinking, ’These chaps are all right’. Then, after two meetings and one

nauseating lunch you ask yourself, ’How did such mind-numbingly stupid

people get into the position of evaluating my creative work?’



Well, I’ll tell you - they were the best candidates their bosses would

hire. Indeed, why get in a replacement when you can get a

logic-challenged, arse-kissing moron to do the day-to-day crap. Then

they wonder, ’what went wrong?’ when they see the shite their Labradors

have dictated.



The Labrador, of course, blames it on the agency. The agency then works

double time clearing up the mess as best they can, covering tracks and

blaming everything on ’poor communication’.



End result: the work is shit. No book pieces. No awards. Less

profits.



The account eventually ends up for pitch. Worse still, there doesn’t

seem to be a damned thing we can do about it. Except, of course, become

a shoe salesman for Clarks ... which sounds more attractive every day.



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