Recently, Doug Ellis, the chairman of Aston Villa, criticised
footballers’ wives who are selfish and greedy. The West Ham boss, Harry
Redknapp, has said much the same thing. You know, ’he’s on pounds 10,000
a week, she wants to move back North to be near her mum’.
Well, are some advertising wives any better?
He gets successful. She gets him to move out beyond the M25. A bigger
house, better schools, probably wants to be near her mum. Unlike most
new-age millennium women who have a job, kids and an intellect, she
whiles away her days watching Trisha and Countdown.
Travelling exhausts him. She’s bored. To keep herself busy, she rings
him all day at the agency with a litany of complaints. The dog’s barking
next door. The cleaning lady has bad breath. Little Jake has been sent
home from school with nits. And she doesn’t like him to go to the pub
after work. When he does, he gets drunk.
The truth is, he doesn’t want to go home any more. Although he’s the
faithful type and wouldn’t even flash a lash at the art buyer’s legs,
she is convinced something is going on. She says it’s not natural to
work late every night, is it? And when everybody is hauled in for a
pitch at the weekend, she goes bananas because she has lined him up for
an outing to B&Q.
Some guys are brain battered. There’s even one nerd in my agency who
asks everybody to lend him cash because his wife won’t let him have
credit or hole-in-the-wall cards.
Having two bosses - one in the office and one at home - will always end
Eventually, he’ll crack and will probably run off with the art buyer
with nice legs.
They’ll have fun for a time until she falls in love with this lovely
house in Hampshire. She’ll purr: ’And it’s really near the station,
Got a rant or a Diary story? E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org or post it to
Diary editor, Campaign, 174 Hammersmith Road, London W6.