Campaign Diary: I’m Only A Punter But

Recently, Doug Ellis, the chairman of Aston Villa, criticised footballers’ wives who are selfish and greedy. The West Ham boss, Harry Redknapp, has said much the same thing. You know, ’he’s on pounds 10,000 a week, she wants to move back North to be near her mum’.

Recently, Doug Ellis, the chairman of Aston Villa, criticised

footballers’ wives who are selfish and greedy. The West Ham boss, Harry

Redknapp, has said much the same thing. You know, ’he’s on pounds 10,000

a week, she wants to move back North to be near her mum’.



Well, are some advertising wives any better?



He gets successful. She gets him to move out beyond the M25. A bigger

house, better schools, probably wants to be near her mum. Unlike most

new-age millennium women who have a job, kids and an intellect, she

whiles away her days watching Trisha and Countdown.



Travelling exhausts him. She’s bored. To keep herself busy, she rings

him all day at the agency with a litany of complaints. The dog’s barking

next door. The cleaning lady has bad breath. Little Jake has been sent

home from school with nits. And she doesn’t like him to go to the pub

after work. When he does, he gets drunk.



The truth is, he doesn’t want to go home any more. Although he’s the

faithful type and wouldn’t even flash a lash at the art buyer’s legs,

she is convinced something is going on. She says it’s not natural to

work late every night, is it? And when everybody is hauled in for a

pitch at the weekend, she goes bananas because she has lined him up for

an outing to B&Q.



Some guys are brain battered. There’s even one nerd in my agency who

asks everybody to lend him cash because his wife won’t let him have

credit or hole-in-the-wall cards.



Having two bosses - one in the office and one at home - will always end

in tears.



Eventually, he’ll crack and will probably run off with the art buyer

with nice legs.



They’ll have fun for a time until she falls in love with this lovely

house in Hampshire. She’ll purr: ’And it’s really near the station,

darling ...’





Got a rant or a Diary story? E-mail campaign@haynet.com or post it to

Diary editor, Campaign, 174 Hammersmith Road, London W6.



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