Feature

A Cannes cock-up but no Craigen cock-out

In an unusual twist, Grey Group was one of the most talked-about networks at Cannes this year. But, sadly, for all the wrong reasons.

A Cannes cock-up but no Craigen cock-out

In what appeared to be a stunt to publicise its very poor grasp of spelling, Grey hired a plane to fly a banner with the words "Famousily Effective" all over Cannes. Sadly, the typo was not intended as a joke and there were red faces all round at the network.

Grey's Chris Hirst and Nils Leonard were at the Google party as the plane flew overhead. So there was no sparing their blushes (visible even through the tans) once the party-goers noticed the almighty cock-up. The humiliation was doubly cruel for them, as the plane stunt was the brainchild of Grey in the US. Someone give that agency a comedy gold Lion.

For those who are having trouble remembering what they did in Cannes, the Gutter Bar has kept track of its clientele's every move with an app called Gutterbaro-meter. LBi's chief creative officer, Chris Clarke, triumphed in the Gutter Bar stakes, spending a staggering 18 hours and 22 minutes there.

Clarke beat Lean Mean Fighting Machine's Dave Bedwood, who came second with a total time of ten hours and 17 minutes, while Tanya Livesey of The Talent Business came third by registering a time of seven hours and one minute.

Blammo Worldwide's president, Alan Gee, spent the most time at the Carlton Terrace, registering 20 hours and 12 minutes' worth of drinking time. Euro RSCG's Fernanda Romano was second, spending nine hours and 41 minutes sipping rose, with Mark Terry Lush, Rene-gade Media's chief executive, coming third with a time of eight hours and 15 minutes.

And speaking of stats, there were some other eye-watering figures in Cannes this year, namely the prices. The large cocktails at Baoli were a staggering EUR540 a time, while an Eden Roc cheeseburger cost EUR42. Finally, a single shot of tequila at the Martinez would set you back EUR47.

Danny Brooke-Taylor, Dare's joint executive creative director, seemed to be inspired by the bar staff at Baoli who kept diners entertained by periodically setting fire to the bar. Brooke-Taylor grabbed a firework from a pass-ing giant cocktail and shoved it firmly between the exposed bum cleft of Nick Bird, one of the agency's creatives. The move also drew cheers from the crowd and prompted a sound that may or may not have been whistling.

The previous night's antics at Baoli included a "roof invasion" by Richard Arscott, the head of account management at Abbott Mead Vickers BDDO. Arscott, responding to a EUR50 bet from colleagues, scaled the wood-beamed roof at the club, where he stood rather precariously until being hauled down by a bouncer. At which point, he was unceremoniously ejected, despite the pleas of the AMV chief executive, Ian Pearman, for leniency.

The Croisette was in a complete and utter state of shock this year as DDB's Jeremy Craigen, for the first time in the history of the festival, didn't publicly expose himself (legal disclaimer: "as far as we know"). Despite looking a tad bleary-eyed and rosy-cheeked, it has to be said, his Cannes package sadly remained firmly in his trousers. Perhaps all the broken glass on the Carlton Terrace made public exposure more hazardous than usual. Diary can only hope that Craigen's nether regions are back to their usual liberated selves next year.

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