Cannes Diary 2012: When the old guard meet the newbies

Still harbouring feelings of self-loathing?

Claire Beale and Jon Hamm
Claire Beale and Jon Hamm

If so, this reminder of antics in the South of France last week won't help. This year seemed bigger and sweatier than ever. Like sports day at a progressive school, everyone was a winner. There are now so many categories at the awards, the only ones not to win a Lion are those who refuse to pay the entry fee.

The Cannes old guard lived up to their reputations - in a quick sleight of hand, Paul Lawson managed to separate himself from his phone and his American Express black card on the Carlton Terrace, going from esteemed agency executive to bewildered homeless bum in a matter of seconds.

The Cannes newbies Rob Doubal and Lolly Thomson, the new McCann London executive creative directors, quickly made a name for themselves by revealing hidden talents. Thomson, it turns out, is an expert knife-thrower, while Doubal - and we quote - "shits on birds".

We would like to reassure any nervous females at McCann that the birds in question are strictly of the feathered variety (he is on a quest for vengeance after a seagull poo-bombed him at lunch on the beach).

If all this reminiscing isn't enough for you, it's easy to relive the buzz on the Carlton Terrace. Just grab a Jeroboam of rose and head down to Oxford Circus Tube station at rush hour on a hot day.