Name: Andy Margetson
Job: Commercials director, 2AM Films
Professional mantra: Om ... don't compromise
Personal mantra: Um ... compromise
5.30am Alarm goes. Where am I? Weird room. Remember I am in Buenos Aires. This hotel is like Starck and Versace had sex but then it went awkward in the morning. The dining room is lined with white unicorn heads and commercial production people. 6.30am "Same seats," Tony, my assistant director, says. He always says it to me when we get in a minibus. On a minibus on our way to a farm outside the city. This is the last day of a five-day shoot for Canon and I've finally remembered to do like everyone else and bring my hotel pillow. Feels great ... zzzz. Richard (agency creative) wants to discuss how to film the pig. Zzzz.
8.00am Chat to Jess the cameraman, who's been ill - the insurance company has insisted we fly out a substitute. Jess assures me he wants to finish the job.
11.00am Crouching in an abandoned swimming pool filming a guy jumping with a frog. The frog is doing well. The guy is doing well ... but not together. Finally, the frog jumps right at the camera. In slow-motion it looks fantastic. We have the shot. Move on.
1.00pm Lunch is a giant barbecue. Delicious steak. Jess is vegetarian.
1.40pm Crew football match. England vs Argentina. Plenty of step-overs and hands of God. Tony refs. We still lose 1-0.
3.00pm Time for the pig. A guy rides it out of the trailer. Its balls are the size of rugby balls. Then the pig lies down. No amount of coaxing will move it. Adapt the shot to work with static pig.
6.00pm The last set-up. Sun is dropping fast. I think about changing lenses but Jess tells me it's beautiful as it is. Then Richard and Anthony (creative) do a comedy version where they drop their pants. Ha ha. It's a wrap. Embraces all round. Champagne and a group photo. The pig still hasn't moved.
8:00pm Hotel bar. Caipirinhas all round. They taste good.
10.00pm Wrap party in some sports bar in Buenos Aires. The place is crap but everyone is laughing. I make a speech and then Lucinda (producer) makes a speech and then everyone makes speeches. You can never have enough speeches when you're drunk.
???am Bed. Wonder if that pig has moved yet. Start cutting the ad in my head. Where's that nice pillow?