Name: Ian Pearman
Job: Managing director, Abbott Mead Vickers BBDO
Professional mission: To enjoy it
Personal mantra: You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind
3.30am Can't sleep. Flick through Sky+. Strike gold: Mad Men.
5.30am Now wide awake. Completely inspired by 50s America and this great industry.
6.30am Move from passenger seat to driver's as I remember I haven't got a chauffeur.
7.30am Arrive. Stride in to a hero's welcome as the cleaners finish hoovering floor.
7.45am Begin handwriting correspondence. Swift clean strokes of masterful calligraphy.
8.30am It's time I started dressing the part. Cashmere suit, I think.
10.00am Cashmere seems to come up small. M&S will do. Resolve to keep lights low in office so no-one will notice difference.
11.00am Review work with creative teams. Make killer observation about blue being a depressing colour. Challenge them to use red.
11.07am Reassured by gales of laughter I hear once I've left. It was tough, but it's still love.
1.00pm The maitre d' at Claridge's doesn't seem to recognise me, my new image is clearly too different.
1.30pm Like a bolt from the blue, I'm struck by genius. I've got it. Oh yes, I've still got it. I light up a cigarette to congratulate myself.
1.31pm Am reminded of the smoking ban. Damn these communists.
2.00pm Presentation. Use double-handed-shoulder-hold-and-hand-shake manoeuvre on client. He can truly feel the relationship now. 4.00pm The pitch is wrapping up and has gone well. They loved the strategy, loved the work and seemed to like us. But it's time I really wowed them.
4.02pm After staying quiet and thoughtful for the entire presentation, I hit them with the brilliance. Silence. I'm brilliant.
4.30pm Begin daily in-office exercise regime. Embark on 200 press-ups.
4.33pm Tara revives me with magic marker and whitening fluid. 5.00pm Begin management walkaround, so adopt special purposeful walk and extra loud booming laugh. Am greeted by giggling, blushing secretaries. They must all have a crush on me.
5.01pm Precocious colleague points out stripe of magic marker on upper lip. Resolve to have him fired.
5.30pm Time for a Martini. None to be found in office. Pour Corona into wine glass and savour the moment. What an industry, what a life!