Name: Jonathan Burley
Job: Executive creative director, Leo Burnett
Personal mantra: Have a rather lovely time ...
Professional mission: ... while delivering some rather lovely work
6.45am Catch sight of myself in the mirror on the way from bed to shower. Scream girlishly. Someone has stolen my eyes.
7.15am Smoke long cigarette. Wait for my black bus.
8.15am Have cleansing bacon and egg breakfast with Jim Bolton. Spend 90 minutes discussing today's workload on McDonald's. Get briefly sidetracked as we try to work out why characters in soap operas never talk about the telly they watched the night before.
10.00am Patrick, the loveable account buffoon on Oxfam, takes me through some shots that Rankin has taken for the 48-sheet campaign. He does this so that I can mention Rankin in my "24 Hours With ..." and give myself some superficial creative credibility.
10.30am The strategic account review on Always. A very compelling presentation, and I am disappointed to find I have nothing facetious to say during the review.
12.00pm The Kellogg team presents to me some rather brilliant Nutri-Grain ideas, and I idly wonder how I can steal the credit from Billy Mawhinney, the CD. If I were a bigger man, I'd use physical force. Sadly, I have little upper-body strength and so have to let it go.
1.00pm Eat tepid sandwich. Cleanse my palate with a long cigarette.
1.30pm Wander around the department trying to meddle with as many projects as possible while acting the giddy goat. Can see the strain on the younger creatives' faces as they struggle to sustain corporate laughter.
2.30pm Discuss our new working process with Big John Hodges. I am very excited by this. The process, that is, not Big John; he has fists like hams and would beat the shit out of me if I made a pass at him.
4.30pm Have a lengthy and profitable conversation with Paul Lawson about new projects.
6.00pm Head into town to see the first edit of the new McDonald's "boom" spot.
7.00pm Pop round to see my beautiful godson, Rufus. His father has taught him to whisper "I love you, Uncle Jon", while staring into my eyes, which is a corrupt and manipulative thing to do. His father does indeed work in advertising.
12.30am Bed, and an unbelievably rude dream about someone I'm not at liberty to discuss.