Name: Paul Lawson
Job: Group managing director, Leo Burnett and Arc
Professional mission: Work like you don't need the money
Personal mantra: Dance like nobody can see you
2.40am Awoken by my 18-year-old son, Nathan, crashing through the front door. Have mid-staircase chat about his career prospects. Spend next hour worrying.
5.23am Two-year-old Gracie decides to wake up. She gets militant and insists on coming into our bed. Wife, Emma, not happy with my flagrant transgression of firm parenting principles.
6.00am Alarm goes off and I start the day feeling as refreshed as only somebody carrying a third world-sized sleep debt can ever truly appreciate.
6.30am Consider a pair of fawn-coloured fashion slacks, complemented by a tassled, burgundy Euro-loafer. Opt instead for pair of jeans.
7.00am Arrive at work. Have to clean gob off my posh car. It's accumulated on the way thanks to some nice young lads who showed their appreciation of the socio-economic gulf between us.
9.00am Meeting with human resources to discuss the volume of Richard Bookey's overtures towards Leo's laydeez. Turns out that the creative services director's outright envy is getting the better of him.
11.00am Meeting with Jon Burley, our exective creative director. He looks as if he's going to be physically sick as he sits facing me. It transpires that my overly snug jeans have ridden-up, thereby throwing the outline of my genitals into sharp relief. Meeting ends on a slightly awkward note.
1.00pm Enjoy luncheon at regular Turkish haunt on North End Road. Me, the Standard and a large mixed grill doused in chilli sauce.
1.45pm More social awkwardness as kebab luncheon repeats on me in enclosed space of office lift. A gaggle of attractive ladies recoil from me in horror as my fetid breath envelops them.
3.00pm Hang out with the youth in the creative department. Try to impress by dropping the name of a hip new band. Unfortunately, I mispronounce it.
8.00pm Home. Watch Ultimate Fighting Championship with Sam, our four-year-old. He's going to have to protect himself as he grows up in the ghetto that is Putney.
11.00pm Lapse into uneasy slumber, worry about what M&C's resident character assassin, Richard Alford, will make of my "24 Hours With ...".