Name: Paul Silburn
Job: Freelance creative person
Professional mission: To work with Barry Scott of Cillit Bang
Personal mantra: Unless you enter the tiger's den, you cannot take the
6.00am Woken by long, wet, farting noise. Turn to look at my gorgeous partner, Lovisa, and can't believe it was her. Realise it's not; it's our five-month-old baby, Jacob.
6.01am Up. Wet wipes. Cream. Nappy. Cuddles. The Hoobs.
7.15am Wake Lovisa, who reminds me I've got to write this column. So I must make sure that, like everyone else who writes it, I've got meetings with "the team", lunch somewhere swanky with someone important and yet still find time to check all is OK at home, thus appearing to achieve the perfect work/home balance in my life. Yeah, right.
8.30am Slog from Battersea to Rainey Kelly, etc, in Camden for BBC project pitch.
9.30am Call Lord Saatchi re lunch somewhere swanky. He doesn't return my call.
11.00am Very nice people from the BBC say: "Yes." I'm now deeply in love with them and even consider buying a TV licence. Well done "team".
11.30am Call Sir Martin Sorrell re lunch somewhere swanky. He doesn't return my call.
11.45am Write brilliant ad. All OK at home.
11.47am Call Maurice Levy re lunch somewhere swanky. No such luck.
12.00pm On adcritic.com using stolen password. Seems there's a creative recession, as everything is safe and uninspiring. Wieden & Kennedy's Guardian print ad stands out for its bold, fresh look. Those guys keep taking the cubs.
12.10pm Hugh Todd of JWT calls re lunch somewhere cheap. I don't return his call.
12.25pm Hugh caught me, when I answered what I thought was a call back from Lord S, so we arrange to have bangers and mash in a cafe.
2.30pm Head down. Headphones on. Try to crack a pitch brief.
6.30pm Give up. Try again tomorrow.
7.15pm Home too late to bath Jacob. Offer to bath Lovisa instead.
8.00pm Send out the launch campaign Lovisa and I produced for new fashion label, Lost Souls.
8.30pm E-mails. Receive word that brawnyacademy.com (a branded-content reality TV show campaign we were involved in creating) has done well in US award show. Really pleased for "the team". Start working on two new content ideas.
10.00pm Run out of crap to make up for this piece. VAT returns. Bed. Long, wet, farting noise.