Job: Joint creative director, Chick Smith Trott
- You've got five hours left before the world explodes. What do you do?
Watch the Cookery Channel with my wife. It has the ability to make five hours seem like an eternity, so I'd actually look forward to the end.
- What's your best joke?
I come from a very traditional family. My granddad hanged himself on Christmas Eve and we couldn't take him down until 5 January.
- What's your biggest fear?
My wife getting hold of the TV remote control.
- When did you last cry and why?
In the summer, someone made us a very good offer for our house. I said to Cathy: "There's no rush, let's not think about it until after Christmas."
- Who is your hero?
Billy Bonds, who, alongside the real Frank Lampard, The Guardian once described as: "The Castor and Pollux of the West Ham defence."
- Name one thing about yourself that few people know.
My best friend was the bass player in The New York Dolls and he could barely play a note. An absolute triumph of brand over product.
- What's the worst thing about your job?
The worst day in my job is better than the best day in a factory.
- What do you see when you look in the mirror?
My dad in a wig.
- With which historical figure do you most identify with and why?
William Munny out of Missouri (Unforgiven) taking down the shooting irons and dusting off the cobwebs (but my son thinks I'm more like Sid James).
- If you had a trained monkey, what would you make it do?
Train it to use the internet, so it could go online and download the complete works of William Shakespeare.
- If your office was burning down, what object would you save and why?
Our office did burn down once and several photographers, who'd left their portfolios with us, were very pissed off that we didn't save them.
- Are you happy?