Close-Up: The hot seat - Gerry Moira, Euro RSCG London

Name: Gerry Moira

Job: Chairman and director of creativity, Euro RSCG London

- You've got five hours left before the world explodes. What do you do?

Rough, but broadly consensual, sex with Kristin Scott Thomas. That would leave me four hours, 58 minutes to face down Armageddon with the aid of a big-ass Shiraz, a Cohiba Grande Bastardo and the box-set of Tamla Motown. Me and Marvin, Stevie and Smokey dancing on the edge of oblivion. Bring it on.

- What's your best joke?

I can't tell jokes to save my life. You only have to witness the patient, but pained, look on the faces of my friends as I set off gamely on a incomprehensible trail of non-sequiturs and mangled punchlines to never ask me again.

- What's your biggest fear?

It's the usual toss-up between folk music and live burial, I'm afraid.

- When did you last cry and why?

Disney movies and Italian opera make me cry. The last sobbing jag was probably brought on by Cheryl Cole saying something generous and kind on The X Factor.

- Who is your hero?

Heroes are for childhood. Mine were John Lennon, Barry John and John Moira.

- Name one thing about yourself that few people know?

I'm quite shy.

- What's the worst thing about your job?

Repetition. My boredom threshold is so low I can barely ...

- What do you see when you look in the mirror?

The child within.

- With which historical figure do you most identify with and why?

Henry VIII. Commitment problems and weight management issues.

- If you had a trained monkey, what would you make it do?

Mix the perfect Negroni while playing the keyboard intro for Louie Louie.

- If your office was burning down, what would you save and why?

Two Julian Opie fakes of my youngest children.

- Are you happy?

When Nigella Lawson lost her sister and then husband to cancer, she spoke of having to "choose happiness". I had to make the same ineluctable decision when my wife died tragically young from the same condition. Blissful happiness is reserved for the idiots and the innocents of this world. The rest of us have to work very hard at it, every minute, every day.

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