Job: Creative director, Weapon7
- You've got five hours left before the world explodes. What do you do?
I would try to construct a spacecraft out of a bathtub, a large elastic band, a hydrogen bomb and copious quantities of hope.
- What's your best joke?
I quite like: "What is E.T. short for? Because he's got tiny little legs."
- What's your biggest fear?
That's a forward question and you should be restrained, sectioned and spanked for asking that.
- When did you last cry and why?
In 1997, when I was discussing a wedding. It was spontaneous, but in a happy way.
- Who is your hero?
I don't have any heroes. But if I did, Matt Caughthran, the lead singer from The Bronx, would be up there.
- Name one thing about yourself that few people know.
I once harboured an unquenchable craving to become a dentist.
- What's the worst thing about your job?
The fact that, sometimes in the summer, the commute into King's Cross can be governed by the sanctity of sweat.
- What do you see when you look in the mirror?
Sometimes I see a spider, because I live in an old house, and my children love spiders.
- Which historical figure do you most identify with and why?
Probably Frankie Fontaine, because he too was abducted by beings from another planet.
- If you had a trained monkey, what would you make it do?
I'd teach it to pogo and spit when I play the drums.
- If your office was burning down, what object would you save and why?
I would collect up everyone's lost shoes to return to them, because there are always lost shoes after a frenzied stampede.
- Are you happy?
Yes - and I'm not just saying that because a higher being may be listening in.
- What's your most evocative childhood memory?
When we were three, myself and my friend Paul would wee into a bucket, mix it with soil, and pour it over the ants on a rockery. We used to call it "ant mixture".
- What belief do you hold most strongly?
That my kids mean everything to me.
- What's on your iPod most-played list?
Generally, anything from The Bronx's first three albums.
- What do you wear in bed?
Ragged off-cuts of cloth.