Job: Creative partner, Rapier
- You've got five hours left before the world explodes. What do you do?
Pick up the family. Go to the South of France. Buy a Riva Aquarama. Whizz around a bit. BANG.
- What's your best joke?
Hedgehogs - why can't they just share the hedge?
- What's your biggest fear?
- When did you last cry and why?
In a rerun of Shooting Stars: George Dawes doing Peanuts.
- Who is your hero?
- Name one thing about yourself that few people know.
I'm a drummer.
- What's the worst thing about your job?
People saying words like "engaging".
- What do you see when you look in the mirror?
A potato with a comedy blond wig.
- Which historical figure do you most identify with, and why?
Horatio Nelson. Norfolk boy done good.
- If you had a trained monkey, what would you make it do?
Get a typewriter and write ads.
- If your office was burning down, what object would you save and why?
My MacBook. It contains everything. Including the novel I'm not writing.
- Are you happy?
Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes.
- What would you do if you were invisible for the day?
Juggle oranges in Tottenham Court Road. And watch the reaction.
- What's your most evocative childhood memory?
Norfolk. Cut grass. And lemon barley.
- What's your most irritating habit?
Apparently: "It's the face you make when you don't like a piece of work." (Liz Franklin, copywriter, Rapier.)
- What belief do you hold most strongly?
Do the right thing.
- What's on your iPod most-played list?
Oh, Richard Hawley at the moment.
- What do you wear in bed?
Chanel No. 5.