Job: Managing partner, Archibald Ingall Stretton
- You've got five hours left before the world explodes. What do you do?
I'm the managing partner of Archibald Ingall Stretton. But this is no time to talk about job titles, we've only got five hours left to live.
- What's your best joke?
I'm not very good at jokes. But I seem to be quite good at making people laugh nervously.
- What's your biggest fear?
Standing on the edge of a cliff in the dark, giving a speech about spiders to a group of clowns.
- When did you last cry and why?
When my dog died. And then, again, when I got the vet's bill.
- Who is your hero?
Sir Richard Charles Nicholas Branson. He signed The Sex Pistols, circumnavigated the world in a balloon, bought his own private Caribbean island and founded Virgin. He's the 236th richest man in the world and has a magnificent set of teeth.
- Name one thing about yourself that few people know?
I once played piano in a brothel on the Moulin Rouge. It all went downhill from there really.
- What's the worst thing about your job?
Getting to and from it.
- What do you see when you look in the mirror?
The big blob of cappuccino chocolate that's obviously been on my face throughout the entire presentation.
- With which historical figure do you most identify and why?
William Pitt the Younger. He was prime minister at 24. Power and youth.
- If you had a trained monkey, what would you make it do?
Planning. To see what kind of interesting propositions you'd get, I hasten to add.
- If your office was burning down, what would you save and why?
My partners Stuart and Steve, I suppose. Otherwise, we'd have to fork out to change all the stationery again. And the signage. And the website ...
- Are you happy?
No. I'm Grumpy. And occasionally Bashful.