Close-Up: The Hot Seat - Martin Nieri, CMW

Name: Martin Nieri

Job: Managing director, CMW

- You've got five hours left before the world explodes. What do you do?

Sprint to Waterstone's on Tottenham Court Road, buy the How To Do Tantric guidebook and get the Northern line home with four hours to spare.

- What's your best joke?

A duck walks into Boots and asks for a tube of ChapStick. The cashier says to the duck: "That'll be £1.49." The duck replies: "Put it on my bill."

- What's your biggest fear?

Looking back on life and thinking I could have done more.

- When did you last cry and why?

When Nana died on The Royle Family.

- Who is your hero?

Sheikh Mansour.

- Name one thing about yourself that few people know.

I own a (small) boutique hotel in Portugal.

- What's the worst thing about your job?

Navigating the Scientologists/Hare Krishnas on Tottenham Court Road.

- What do you see when you look in the mirror?

Someone not as good-looking as he thought he was.

- Which historical figure do you most identify with and why?

Neville Chamberlain. Always looking for the best in people.

- If you had a trained monkey, what would you make it do?

Respond enthusiastically to anyone asking the question: "How's Portugal?"

- Are you happy?

Deliriously so.

- What would you do if you were invisible for the day?

Where does Cheryl Cole live again?

- What's your most evocative childhood memory?

Sitting in the car in a German layby watching my dad cry when Elvis died.

- What's your most irritating habit?

The wife gave me many but I liked "prodigious hatred of Alex Ferguson" the best!

- What belief do you hold most strongly?

How can we do it better?

- What's on your iPod most-played list?

Hit The North (The Fall) and Sinnerman (Nina Simone).

- What do you wear in bed?

Nothing glamorous.