Close-Up: The hot seat - Nick Darken, Albion London

Name: Nick Darken

Job: Creative director, Albion London

- You've got five hours left before the world explodes. What do you do?

Spend the day on a beach with my wife and kids.

- What's your best joke?

What's green and goes backwards? (Then snort violently. Guaranteed to be a hit with eight-year-olds.)

- What's your biggest fear?

Being locked in a small room with the people who leave comments on Campaignlive articles.

- When did you last cry and why?

Episode eight, The Pacific. When John Basilone got shot down. Made even more poignant in the final episode when it was revealed that his real-life widow never remarried.

- Who is your hero?

Heroes are created in the mind of a child. Mine is Peter Daicos. The last man who could torpedo-punt a goal in Aussie rules from 65 metres out.

- Name one thing about yourself that few people know.

I was done for shoplifting when I was a kid. It was my first and last act of dishonesty. I had a list of punishments taped to my bed that my elder brother can still recite.

- What's the worst thing about your job?

Meetings before noon.

- What do you see when you look in the mirror?

A bald bastard ten years younger than reality.

- Which historical figure do you most identify with and why?

Skippy. He always struggled with verbal communication too.

- If you had a trained monkey, what would you make it do?

I'd train it to swear at people like a loony, then ask for money with a little tin.

- If your office was burning down, what object would you save and why?

Boringly, my laptop. I never save to the server.

- What would you do if you were invisible for the day?

Potter about with the Queen. And when that got boring, lurk in Topshop changing rooms.

- What's your most evocative childhood memory?

Rain on tin roofs. Billy carts on steep hills. Yabbies in ponds. Boogie boards on killer waves. Gum trees on empty lots.

- What belief do you hold most strongly?

You can do anything you want in life if you believe in it.

- What's on your iPod most-played list?

An app where you land planes at airports. It's infuriatingly addictive.

- What do you wear in bed?

My undies and a T-shirt.