Job: Group managing director, Rainey Kelly Campbell Roalfe/Y&R
- You've got five hours left before the world explodes. What do you do?
You can eat a lot of fried food in five hours. A lot.
- What's your best joke?
I have an existentialist map. It's got "you are here" all over it.
- What's your biggest fear?
The dream I had just before a big pitch: being naked in the agency - Matt Janes stole my boxers. That and the children suffering.
- When did you last cry and why?
Last weekend. In a large municipal sports centre in Stoke.
- Who is your hero?
- Name one thing about yourself that few people know.
I taught English to the Blair kids. (I've told everyone that, you say? Bugger.)
- What's the worst thing about your job?
The 999 out of every thousand potential disasters that you can't predict.
- What do you see when you look in the mirror?
A massive face.
- Which historical figure do you most identify with and why?
John Milton. He was the last man in history who genuinely knew it all.
- If you had a trained monkey, what would you make it do?
Be the group MD of RKCR/Y&R. How hard can it be?
- If your office was burning down, what object would you save and why?
Sod the office, I'm working from Miami until it's rebuilt.
- Are you happy?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHiX0FZcjkA. The first minute.
- What would you do if you were invisible for the day?
I'd spend the whole day whispering "Nick fancies you" in David's ear.
- What's your most evocative childhood memory?
Having a bath in a stainless steel sink.
- What's your most irritating habit?
Apparently, I can be a little pompous. Stuff and nonsense, I say.
- What belief do you hold most strongly?
Judge a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.
- What's on your iPod most-played list?
Bill Hicks, Mozart's Requiem, Rachel Stevens.
- What do you wear in bed?
Go to www.dryforlife.co.uk.