Close-Up: The hot seat - Tim Lindsay, TBWA\UK & Ireland Group

Name: Tim Lindsay

Job: President, TBWA\UK & Ireland Group

- You've got five hours left before the world explodes. What do you do?

Drugs, for sure. Some sex, perhaps. A modicum of rock and roll.

- What's your best joke?

I'm not keen on people who confuse telling jokes with being funny, probably because I'm useless at it. If left with absolutely no choice, there's one involving acute angina that sometimes gets a laugh - though not among people with heart conditions.

- What's your biggest fear?

I'm with Winston Smith, me. Rats. As well as harm coming to my family, bankruptcy, ill health, old age and being boring.

- When did you last cry and why?

I cry easily and frequently, to everyone's embarrassment but my own. The inauguration, I think, because the world changed.

- Who is your hero?

My brother Rupert. He's the nicest person in the world despite having every reason not to be.

- Name one thing about yourself that few people know.

When I was 18, I broke most of the bones in my body by sleep-walking out of the third-storey window of a hotel in Germany on the way to see Scotland v Brazil in the World Cup. Stone-cold sober, obviously.

- What's the worst thing about your job?

Sharing a table with Matt, Tom and Mark. (Also sometimes the best thing, to be fair.)

- What do you see when you look in the mirror?

A middle-aged bloke with grey hair and a nice suit.

- With which historical figure do you most identify with and why?

Ah, this is the question where, unless you're as clever and funny as Gerry Moira, you make a real prat of yourself, right? Oh. You're saying that's true of all my answers.

- If you had a trained monkey, what would you make it do?

I think I'd ask it to run Mother while the current team took a long sabbatical.

- If your office was burning down, what object would you save and why?

My Lowe Lintas Campaign Agency of the Year 2001 Tiffany ballpoint pen. As a historical artefact, I'm expecting it to be worth a lot of money one day. It's a symbol of a bygone age.

- Are you happy?

Generally? Yes, very. And incredibly lucky.

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