Job: Managing partner, Lean Mean Fighting Machine
- You've got five hours left before the world explodes. What do you do?
I'd light a barbecue and invite my family, friends and Ronnie Corbett round to drink wine, eat sausages and ward off the inevitable looters with air rifles and pitchforks.
- What's your best joke?
Some people in the office enjoy pointing out that I've started to tell "dad" jokes. So if you don't mind, I'll pass on this question.
- What's your biggest fear?
The internet irreparably breaking would really bugger up our business plan.
- When did you last cry and why?
I cry more through happiness or exhaustion than pain or sorrow. The last time was when my five-year-old son Freddie wrote me a letter when he was staying in Sweden.
- Who is your hero?
Matthew Le Tissier.
- Name one thing about yourself that few people know.
I was asked to appear in a Simply Red video by a street caster. I said: "Do I look like Mick Hucknall's wingman?" They said: "Yes." I said: "Fuck off."
- What's the worst thing about your job?
It is a brilliant way of making a living, especially so when you compare it to other professional services. It is unrelenting, though.
- What do you see when you look in the mirror?
A lucky man-boy.
- Which historical figure do you most identify with and why?
- If you had a trained monkey, what would you make it do?
I'd get him to talk to my Commuter Friend in the morning, before making him do slapheads on everyone in the office.
- If your office was burning down, what object would you save and why?
I would deliberate between our Cannes Interactive Agency of the Year gong and the disgusting foreign booze collection before coming to my senses, grabbing my five-year archive of to-do lists and making a run for it.
- Are you happy?