‘Paco, Paco, Paco...’ Zzzap! Now, this is a bit of a rant but, hey,
someone’s got to do it. ‘Paco, Paco, Paco...’ Zzzap! Know what I’m
talking about? No, it’s not the sound of the designer, Paco Rabanne,
being beamed up by the Starship Enterprise. More’s the pity. As you’d
know if you watch even a tiny bit of television, ‘‘Paco, Paco, Paco...’
Zzzap!’ is actually the sound of hundreds, if not thousands, of viewers
responding with their remote controls to the launch ads for the new Paco
Not content with inflicting weeks of teaser rubbish (and teasers surely
deserve a whole rant of their own) on us, we now have the full monty.
Models of extraordinary ugliness leer into the camera to say the name
Paco against the kind of background 80s industrial music you’d hoped had
passed away with the decline of the indie band, Einsturzende Neubaten.
Now, we all know this new fragrance is supposed to be special - partly
because Rabanne told us so in a hilarious interview in the Observer’s
Madame Figaro last weekend, but also because when we were sent an
unsolicited freebie, Paco Rabanne’s public relations people rang up to
harangue us later that same day for not saying thank you.
‘Paco is a perfume for everyone,’ Rabanne told the Observer. ‘To bring
Adam to life, God blew into his nose.’ I haven’t got a clue either but,
clearly, to bring the Paco ads to life, God had a furtive glance at his
An ad agency will get the blame and, as ever with perfume ads, it was
probably created in-house. However, we can name the media buyer
responsible for inflicting the damn thing on us three or four times per
break. Step forward Austin West and explain why you’re trying to blitz
us on to the Beeb.
Luckily, Nick Broomfield’s Aileen Wuornos - in Search of a Serial Killer
on Channel 4 was gripping enough to warrant the constant zapping back
and forth. Not many programmes are. What’s more, I’d love to know what
all the other advertisers who had to share a break with Paco have to
say. First of all, I’d have to find out who they were because I was
dipping into some dreary Clint Eastwood movie on BBC2 while they were
putting their expensive messages across.
Someone will doubtless say that I’m not in the target market. After all,
isn’t Paco the kind of stuff your aunt might give you at Christmas when
she thinks you’ve grown out of Brut and Old Spice? However, if I’m not
in the target market, why have I been exposed to this rubbish so often?
Do perfume and toiletries ads have to be so dreadful? Not judging by the
latest Bartle Bogle Hegarty work for Lynx. And as for the fragrance?
Well, you’d know if someone was wearing it.