Hold on to your hats everybody, the bespectacled and musically
challenged Halifax employee, Howard, is soon to face a challenge to his
crown as the king of bank advertising.
Yes, the Abbey National has decided to ditch the comedian Alan Davies,
in favour of using customers to star in its latest ads. Cue widespread
hysteria as the British public, fired up by the omnipresent guff that is
Pop Idol, converged in their masses to recent audition at the Leeds Corn
Exchange in a bid to knock Howard off his king pin perch.
Shades of Michael Barrymore's now defunct TV show, My Kind Of People,
ensued as fame-obsessed wannabes ploughed their way through a selection
of scripts from EastEnders and Only Fools and Horses, clad in full
Barbara Windsor-inspired wigs and Pat Butcher face paint. Ye Gads.
Even that old media stalwart Richard Whiteley was on hand to oil the
wheels of acting talent and run through the scripts with the hopefuls of
"We were very impressed with the variety of people," the PR contact
said, tactfully neglecting to mention the standard of those involved.
"But we are not promising anyone they're going to be a star," she
hurriedly added, clearly with visions of teenage wannabes and tone-deaf
impresarios knocking down their door for television contacts.
Further auditions at Milton Keynes and Croydon are coming soon, so all
those starry-eyed fameseekers can get down there pronto - while the rest
of us give them a wide berth.