12.20pm Park Lane Hotel Photographers line up to snap the top totty
attending the Maxim Women of the Year Awards. But when I arrive, the
only celeb in view is mayoral candidate Malcolm McLaren, who is stylish
but no beauty.
12.30pm Descending to the bar for cocktails, I spot a blonde woman in a
backless top whom I vaguely recognise. The afternoon is full of blonde
women in backless tops whom I vaguely recognise.
12.45pm Chris Eubank enters, resplendent in tweed. By now we are
surrounded by half the cast of EastEnders, most of Brookside and almost
all of Holby City.
1pm I find my table as the ceremony begins. Joining me are Julie from
Teletext and Trevor, a freelance photographer who blagged his way
1.10pm Host Jonathan Ross ushers a series of guest presenters onto the
stage. They dish out awards to various soap stars, TV personalities and
models. Eubank has the best line: ’The weaker thex are the thtronger
thex due to the weakneth of the thtronger thex for the weaker thex.’
Er ... right.
The winners I’ve actually heard of include EastEnder Tamzin Outhwaite,
Caprice and Cat Deeley, who wins Woman of the Year.
4pm Tokyo Joe’s The aftershow party cranks into gear. Cat and her mates
come down, along with Tamzin, Michelle Collins, that bloke what plays
Beppe off the Enders and lots of blonde women in backless tops. A Brand
New Heavy asks me for a light.
6pm Beppe and Michelle Collins are deep in conversation. Trevor is
chatting up Cat, while Sean McGuire - who was getting on quite well with
her - looks disgruntled. I’m engaged in drunken chat with Maxim
publisher Andy Semple, who deems the afternoon ’a triumph’.