First clue: "The writer is a one-off and has a genius for enlightened and unabashed eccentricity and originality."
Second clue: "Although he/she is self-assured and self-reliant there is an egocentric and ambitious streak that will not dither for man or time."
Third clue: "Fools are not suffered gladly ... agitation and impatience will surely be evident in all but the most formal of occasions."
Fourth clue: "A difficult character to fully understand ... detail and method take a back seat to ingenuity and results."
And finally: "He's a complicated man, and no-one understands him but his woman."
OK, so the last clue is just a line from Isaac Hayes' Shaft, but the other four are insights into the personality of the man with the largest collection of Kermit-green suits in the business. That's right, it's Robin Wight, WCRS's flamboyant chairman, and Garry Lace's main rival for the position of Diary regular.
This insight into Wight's psychoses came after he submitted his scribblings to The Times' resident graphologist. Wight is rumoured to have been so impressed by the accuracy of the analysis that he has since demanded that all correspondence from clients - existing and prospective - be handwritten, so as to enable the agency to gain precious "competitive insight".