Diary: Austerity Cannes? You must be kidding

It was being labelled Austerity Cannes, but that was always going to sound like an oxymoron. Of course, you could get a room at the Carlton for £300 a night if you were willing to hold your nerve until the start of the festival. But that's still a lot of dosh.

Indeed, desperate to prove he's no "drunken advertising wanker", Russell Ramsey, JWT's executive creative director, claims to have done a one-night stint for less than £300 - hotel and flight included - and still fit in meetings with the JWT top dogs Bob Jeffrey and Ty Montague. What about the bar bill, though?

Elsewhere, frugal intentions quickly melted in the sunshine. Diary's recent report that the LBi team were eschewing the Carlton and the Majestic for a campsite fell flat when the top brass, including Chris Clarke and Ewen Sturgeon, decided that everybody else could sleep with the insects while they checked into hotels.

Small wonder, perhaps, that a few festival regulars turned uncharacteristically coy when confronted with Campaign's camera, declaring: "I am not in Cannes."

Thankfully, anti-social behaviour didn't give Cannes a miss this year. The Carlton Terrace was the usual scene of drunken debauchery, with such luminaries including Johnny Hornby (who ditched the yacht for a "credit-crunch" speedboat), Gerry Moira (back on the fags?), Kate Stanners, Mark Wnek and Helen Weisinger all helping to entertain some real stars, including Bob Geldof and Roger Daltrey. DDB's well-refreshed Jeremy Craigen, meanwhile, provided the eye-candy highlight of Thursday night when he was the victim of a de-bagging by Robert Senior. Sadly, no photographic evidence exists.

And that wasn't the end of it for Craigen. Enjoying a spot of "me time" in his hotel room, the naked creative chief was dancing with himself when a shocked maid walked in. The most he could hope to hide was his blushes.

Meanwhile, encountering the film star Matthew McConaughey while swimming near Eden Roc, Miles Calcraft Briginshaw Duffy's Danny Brooke-Taylor warned him about the threat of jellyfish in the area. "If one stings me, will you urinate on me?" he asked. The actor readily agreed he would.

And, finally, Dave Droga has found a novel solution to a packed Cannes diary. Unable to make lunch with Gorgeous at La Colombe d'Or, he sent his Paris-based sculptor brother instead. Apparently, he slotted in nicely.