DIARY: Burkitt finds a future without Timotei to be a hair-raising horror

The creative genius behind any future ad campaigns for Unilever's

brand Timotei need look no further. Diary has unearthed the perfect

vehicle to take the brand firmly into the 21st century.

The contender made an appearance at the Marketing Society's bash this

week, populated by important-looking suits who were obviously far too

busy chomping on their sausages on sticks to join their creative chums

down in Cannes.

The highlight of the night was a speech from Unilever's chairman and

chief executive, Niall Fitzgerald, during which he spoke passionately

about companies "killing brands" through bad advertising and marketing.

It happens if you sell them off too, Niall.

Up stood our hero to raise a crucial issue with the great man - the

future of Timotei. Was the brand, synonymous with flaxen-haired

goddesses frolicking in streams, about to face the axe, adland's own

hair-flicking substitute, Hugh Burkitt, asked.

After ascertaining that he used Timotei "every day", Fitzgerald retorted

that if Burkitt doubled his use, the brand would surely survive.

Yes, but how would the public cope with a campaign starring Burkitt and

his hair?