Take a recent Wal-Mart press release. If you filter through the overblown jargon, you might eventually realise that the retail giant is announcing Draft/FCB has scooped its £320 million US account. And a very impressive win it is, too.
But Diary is confused. Please explain what "This new agency relationship continues evolution to a world-class marketing communication group that allows the mass retailer to speak to customers in a targeted and refined voice" means.
And it gets worse. Howard Draft, the chairman and chief executive of Draft/FCB has also adopted this toe-curling professional blather to impress his new client. He goes on to say the agency has built an "entity" that is the perfect combination of "creativity and accountability", of "science and art", and that it will deliver a "consumer-centric (what?) business solution". Diary can summarise this press release in just one word. Painful.