DIARY: CHI calls up service of a cricket ringer to hammer new client

Liverpool Victoria's group sales and marketing director, Simon

Rhodes, clearly fancies himself as a bit of a Darren Gough. With Clemmow

Hornby Inge completing his agency roster line-up, Rhodes decided that

the best way to teach them all who's the boss was a challenge to a day's


Since trendy agency types are not famous for their love of having hard,

round objects hurled towards their heads, Si and his hardened squad

could be fairly confident of giving them a good trouncing.

Rhodes, though, had hired more devious minds than he had accounted


As he and his team ran their eyes over the opposing admen, they noticed

a suspiciously familiar face lurking near the back.

This was no junior copywriter but, gasp!, the former England fast bowler

Gladstone Small - he of the breakneck pace, non-existent neck and

personal agent at Maiden Management, who just happened to be a mate of

CHI's managing director, Johnny Hornby.

Experiencing a sudden failure of nerve, Rhodes suggested that they

should create two mixed teams - with both allowed access to the ringer.

Captain Hornby, determined to make the most of his signing, put

Gladstone on as opening bowler and whittled the entire opposition team

out for 27 runs.

Particularly miffed was Simon Clemmow, who survived four balls from

Small - only to be bowled first delivery by the rather slower-paced

Liverpool Victoria brand manager, Helen Bishop.