DIARY: On da mass-eve of de elecshun, Ali steps in to big up da Greenies

Aiiigh'. It is elecshun time, an' there is no way dat sweaty Tony

Blair, nor 'is bald rivahl, William 'ague, is gonna steal me thunda.

Anyway, Billy, he be too fazed with fightin' wid 'is ad agency,


I, Ali Green (Keith to me mates), de well-known purveyor of all tings

green (but mos'ly grass), 'ave bin roped in to 'elp out de phat lady

from de Green Party to win 'er place in Pahlimen'.

Dis Anna B, who be from Befnal Green (big up de Eas' London masseve), be

much betta lookin' dan Anne Widdecum (urgh). But not Jordan, who be also

tryin' 'er 'and at dis MP lark. Stick to melons, ah mean, modellin'.

And what about tha' UK Independence - whass dat all abou' den? I is

shakin' in me Tommys.

I 'ave bin chosen becuz - apar' from me main man Ali G bein' the numba

one choice for Priiime Ministerr for Bri'ish yoof (bo!) - I am de only

way dem Greenies can get dem 18 to 30-year-ol' apafetic younstas to dem

polling places.

I is gonna be even more famous dan what Ali is! An' no amoun' of egg

throwin' or massive telly ads is gonna put de opposishun in de house

above m'laydee Anna B.