Diary: Dirty Films? Grooming Waters? Life at DFGW ...

If you happen to pass a room containing a certain DFGW creative duo, don't be surprised to hear the groans and grunts of passion drifting through the walls.

Surely they're taking the whole intimate creative relationship thing a bit too far, we hear you suggest. But hold your horses - it's not quite as it seems. Chances are they're brainstorming ideas for their latest hardcore porn film script.

They'd rather not be named, though, and we don't blame them - we've read it.

While the literary sophistication of the genre rarely amounts to more than "Yeah baby, give it to me, harder, harder, faster, faster" (or its equivalent in German ), the pervy pair insist their latest wheeze (named Black Gold) is, if you please, "porn done beautifully".

Erm, OK. Too much time on your hands, perhaps?

Separately, in the midst of a chat about the Australian male's predilection for the back, sack and crack wax, DFGW's creative founder, Dave Waters, revealed his personal grooming regime to a spellbound gaggle of his staff last week. Apparently, he favours a pair of nail scissors in the constant battle to keep his own short and curlies in trim. Male grooming gone mad, or is he set to star in one of his agency's latest blueys, Dave Does Dallas?