Diary: Durden calls time on his Big Brother escapade

After a week of "will he, won't he", Jonathan Durden, the portly media tycoon, has finally called it a day and left the Big Brother house, and by doing so has called a premature halt to Diary's "Durden Watch".

The first signs of his time in captivity drawing to a close came last week, when the PHD founder delivered a rousing departure speech in which he explained how issues outside the house were forcing him to leave.

However, the rotund millionaire changed his mind just a day later, saying: "If you'll have me, I'll stay."

Yet, on Monday, following the death of his grandmother, Durden finally decided to quit the house.

His exit capped a memorable week for the Miles Calcraft Briginshaw Duffy partner, during which his notable contributions included some impressive flatulence and a propensity to sit with his legs so far apart, it looked like he was attempting to give birth to something.

Durden, who survived a public eviction two weeks ago, also found time to invite the two 19-year-old twins to his private villa and tell his fellow housemates: "I've spent 49 years getting cleverer than you. So fuck off!"