Diary: How to ensure we won't forget this press release

In a strange week at Campaign Towers, Diary received two press releases: one filled with crap, the other actually made of it.

The first concerned the news of a new five-year alliance between JCDecaux SA and Unilever.

A pick-axe was required to cut through the David Brentesque levels of unintelligible marketing speak that culminated in the proud words of Alan Rutherford, Unilever's global media vice-president, who summarised the deal with an astounding string of cliches, thus: "Unilever has assembled a world-class team of marketing practitioners, including state-of-the-art skills in 360-degree planning ... This alliance will help us achieve the optimum level of outdoor within our 360-degree approach, brand-by-brand." Wow!

To the next release. The showstopping headline said: "Liquid Trumpets Lend Lease's Sustainability Message Using Elephant Dung." Er, OK.

It turns out that a design agency is producing corporate brochures for an eco-friendly office block at Hanover Square using paper made from elephant poo.

And finally, another odd PR effort to ram home a company's green credentials. Anya Hindmarsh's much talked-about "I'm not a plastic bag" pushed the sustainability message in a press release that found its way into the Diary offices. One snag. It was coated in a silver foil plastic bubble-wrapped A4 envelope. Tut, tut.

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