For those of you in Cannes for the week, Bates Worldwide has put
together a survival kit in a special metal container wittily called the
It consists of several items to help you through the annual ad fest.
Such as a notepad containing ‘useful’ Cannes phone numbers for ‘Robert
Floyd, Solicitor’ and the local hospital, as well as ‘unuseful’ numbers
for nearby gyms, libraries and museums.
There’s also a list of handy phrases in French, such as how to say ‘My
bedroom’s got a lovely view of the sunrise’, ‘Your face is really
familiar. Vogue? January edition?’ and ‘Give me your clothes’.
In addition there are stamps, a map of Cannes with highlighted ‘Booze’,
‘Lads’ and ‘Birds’ venues, a pack of Rizlas, three brightly coloured
condoms, an Alka Seltzer, a bunch of makey-uppy receipts to boost your
expenses claims and a helpful inside track on jurors’ interests (with
Alex Taylor from Saatchi and Saatchi UK down for brass rubbing and
Perhaps it would have been too square to have included a guide to
lectures, festival events and not-to-be-missed screenings. Because, hey,
it’s not as if anyone’s there for the advertising, is it?