DIARY: Flunkies thwart Fallon fiends' party machine

In (almost) the words of S Club 7: "There ain't no party like a Fallon party." Not content with offering revellers a traditional evening of free-flowing Champagne and cocktails washed down with beer, wine, more cocktails, more Champagne and a bit of music, nibbles and some Champagne cocktails, the agency likes to put its party-goers thoroughly through their paces. Enter Fallon's drinking machine.

Following on from the success of last year's Tequila bicycle (don't ask!) this year saw the birth of a lethal mechanical chair, complete with crash helmet, designed to spin its victim around before unleashing a shot of spirit into their mouth while they remain upside down.

Alas, it wasn't to be. The Royal College of Art, the venue for the party, got cold feet once it laid eyes on the machine and banned it for health and safety reasons.

What's more, it refused even to see the chair in action and accordingly stationed two health and safety representatives to stand guard the whole evening, should anyone attempt to break through the barrier and go for a spin.

It may have been too progressive for the RCA but rest assured the Fallon torture chair will rise from the ashes. Just pray you're not around when it does.