DIARY: Forget fun at Cannes, some visitors should claim danger money

Cannes is a bloody dangerous place for advertising folk. Maybe it's the endless supply of rose or perhaps it's just the heat, but by the end of every festival, the waiting room of the local hospital resembles lunchtime at The Ivy.

First up in casualty this year was Euro RSCG Wnek Gosper's chief executive, Chris Pinnington, who was savaged by a dog within minutes of his arrival.

The animal had been scared by a wayward motorcyclist and, in its panic, decided to sink its jaws into poor Pinners' leg.

There was less sympathy for Guy Moore. Wieden & Kennedy's new signing took it upon himself to turn up on Clemmow Hornby Inge's yacht drunker than Boris Yeltsin, a strategy that led him to come a cropper once the yacht had set sail.

As the waves caused the boat to rock, Moore was repeatedly thrown from one side to the other, pulling off spectacular somersaults and repeatedly banging his head in the process, much to the mirth of onlookers such as TBWA's Matt Shepherd-Smith.

Someone else who found the art of balance a particular problem was Procter & Gamble's Jim Stengel, who was called up on stage to accept an award during Wednesday's 50 years of Cannes ceremony. Alas, the occasion proved too much for Stengel, who, in his haste to get back to his seat, tripped and fell off the stage in a move that even the most ambitious stunt man would have been proud off.

Saatchi & Saatchi no doubt decided to show its long-time client that it could go one better. At the press and poster awards gala buffet, the agency was sat neatly around a table on the edge of the sea.

Cue creative Dan Cole, who, having lost his own balance, decided to grab hold of the table for support. Alas it was to no avail as not only did Cole fall into the water but he took the table, its contents and three of his colleagues with him.

The "gutter bar" claimed its usual string of victims. As Amber Music's Nick Amour ponced around in a turban, Johnny Hornby passed out beneath a tree. When he awoke he was missing one shoe, one wallet and some dignity.

And no Cannes casualty list would be complete without Grey Worldwide's Garry Lace. Last year, Lace cracked his head open after being pushed into a swimming pool. This year, he slipped on the wet floor at the villa he was renting, breaking a rib in process. We hope the industry will join with us in warning Mr Lace away from the French Riviera. The law of averages suggests that if he goes next year, he'll die.