Our story begins a couple of years ago when a tornado ripped through North London. The houses of Kensal Rise weren't the only victims of the freak weather conditions, however.
Also caught in the vortex was a lonely carrier pigeon, who was deposited into the garden of Rob Forshaw's neighbour, who decided to adopt the disoriented bird, keeping it as a pet caged in his back garden.
Unfortunately for the founding partner at Grand Union, his neighbour's new avian pet started to attract the entire neighbouring pigeon populace to his back garden.
Matters came to a head when Forshaw recently received an SOS call from his partner, after the carrier pigeon escaped from its coop and found its way into his son's bedroom, where the panic-stricken creature was defecating profusely.
Quick to the rescue, Forshaw dashed home from work, and with few other options, decided to put the creature out of its misery. Forever.
This, however, left Forshaw not only racked with guilt and fearing repercussions from the RSPB and his neighbour, but also with a pigeon corpse on his hands.
So as not to arouse suspicion, he decided to dispose of the bird away from the scene of the crime, taking the body to work in a carrier bag.
Several days later, Forshaw noticed a that a strange smell was emerging from his workplace and realised he had forgotten to ditch the animal.
Thankfully for Forshaw and Grand Union staff alike, the creature now resides in a Soho-based wheelie bin.