DIARY: HOTCAKES

Hotcakes has nothing but admiration for John Brown, whose efforts at team building are second-to-none (yes Sally, I’m afraid that does include Cabal’s free chocolate and trampoline).

Hotcakes has nothing but admiration for John Brown, whose efforts

at team building are second-to-none (yes Sally, I’m afraid that does

include Cabal’s free chocolate and trampoline).



The latest Brown bonding venture involved shipping his entire workforce

to France for the day. The highlight of the jaunt was to be a sandcastle

building contest and a knobbly knees competition. But the ’brains’

behind the trip hadn’t reckoned on John Brown staff’s legendary appetite

for booze.



By the time a very hot Saturday afternoon rolled around, two staff were

in hospital with minor injuries and the remainder were far too pissed to

even consider beach activities. ’We couldn’t stand up let alone build

bleedin’ castles,’ said one beer monster.



The bonding exercise was abandoned in favour of more booze, which gave

rise to yet more calamities on the way home: ’Despite being told about

20 times to hang on to our passports, two of my pissed-up colleagues

left theirs in the hold. When we got to Customs and the official asked

one of them to produce his passport, he looked up and said ’it’s

alright, I’m with them’.’ Surprisingly, this didn’t go down too well

with the rubber glove brigade, who made the entire crew get off the

coach. Skeggy next year, John?





Hello! magazine recently brought to Hotcakes’ attention one rather

confused reader who apparently makes it her business to appear in at

least two celebrity magazines every month.



The subject in question is Jessica Ince and her large ’attention

grabbing’ piece of headwear. Ms Ince got her mitts on the millinery

misdemeanour as part of Hello!’s, er, ’stunning designer outfit

competition’.



When Hello! ran the competition for the NSPCC, Ince called the magazine,

answered a few questions and won her dream hat (surely nightmare - ed),

all for the price of a phone call.



A couple of months later, Now ran a few shots of Ascot, one of which

featured you-know-who in her eye-catching headgear which, according to a

straight-faced Ince, ’was a present from my dad. I think it cost between

pounds 500 and pounds 1,000 pounds.’ Well, really!



Topics