DIARY: I’m only a punter but...

Hi. I’m a coupon. I hang around at the end of press ads desperately hoping to get filled in.

Hi. I’m a coupon. I hang around at the end of press ads desperately

hoping to get filled in.

I’m only here because there are people who think that the readers of ads

are so stupid they can’t find the shops that stock the products. Or that

they’re too silly to look in Yellow Pages. Or just too dim to ring the

HUGE Freefone number at the end of the ad.

Yes, I know I’m a bit small. There wasn’t much room left for me when

push came to shove. That’s why I have a dotted line around me, so you

can’t miss me. The little scissors motif means: ‘Cut me out. Don’t try

to extract me by ripping the newspaper in half and spoiling the page. Or

by using a tenon-saw or a road drill. Scissors will do just fine.’

You may think that I’ve got problems, but wait till you meet my friend,

Telephone Number Tagged On The End Of The Commercial.

His originators believe that people actually anticipate his arrival by

leaping off the sofa, running into the kitchen, opening the drawer that

always gets stuck when you’re in a hurry, rummaging around to find a

pencil and paper, then rushing back to the sitting room and copying him

down. All before the ad has finished.

The truth is - and I don’t mind admitting it - there are too many of us

orphan coupons and telephone numbers in advertisements these days.

It’s no fun being the unwanted children of Mr and Mrs Wishful Thinking.

Send your rants to Belinda Archer, Campaign, 174 Hammersmith Road,

London W6 7JP


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