I’m only a punter, but I’m one that likes fun, fruity, fizzy alcoholic
drinks. The anti-fun league’s argument du jour seems to be that children
will be blotto in the playground before we know it, because these drinks
look too much like fun. Well, I want some fun, thank you very much.
Those of us who read the Sun will remember the story of the two-year-old
who likes to smoke. I assume this wasn’t because of the fun packaging on
his dad’s Chesterfields or the nice taste.
Now, according to my research, children very often have parents. Parents
who must take ultimate responsibility for the safety of their offspring,
without trying to pin problems on drinks manufacturers, rock music, or
whatever scapegoat the Esther Rantzens of this world choose to target
But are these fun drinks being targeted at kids? Personally, I couldn’t
find any booze down the local toystore. No, kids aren’t the target
sector - unless you count big kids, such as myself. I’m 34 and drink
cranberry-flavoured Shotts while eating Pez candy. I watch Beavis and
Butthead (heh heh). I like rock (but I don’t play my records backwards
seeking Satanic messages). I play pinball, I surf the Net. Furthermore,
I hope to keep my maturity under house arrest for a long time to come.
So do many other thirtysomethings. And older people.
Teach your kids about alcohol and cigarettes. I’ll be down the pub,
having something sweet and fizzy (bad for me), smoking (very bad for me)
and eating nuts (which ‘small children can choke on’, it says on the
packet). I call it having fun - something that seems to need a warning
label these days.
Rants to: Diary editor, 174 Ham-mersmith Road, London W6 7JP