DIARY: I’m only a punter but...

Who is it that thinks that, if they show me that ‘new’ Persil gets my clothes a lot cleaner than ‘old’ Persil, I’ll rush out and buy a box?

Who is it that thinks that, if they show me that ‘new’ Persil gets my

clothes a lot cleaner than ‘old’ Persil, I’ll rush out and buy a box?

I have watched Persil ads for most of my life and they have not once

suggested that the current Persil did anything other than wash my

clothes to perfection. It ‘Gets your whites right’, right? Right.

Everybody knows that. And they tell me that new Persil is better than

old Persil.

But, hold on, I’m confused. I don’t recall walking around with chocolate

stains still visible on the front of my ‘clean’ T-shirt. I don’t recall

huge pesto stains spoiling my favourite Levi’s. Have I missed something?

Have stains become tougher over the past year? We’ve developed super

rats and super-viruses but, frankly, I don’t believe in super-stains and

not even that nice Carol Boardingschool from Count-up could persuade me


But it seems the ads try to prove this - they show me the stains that

‘old’ Persil left behind. Er, one question, why weren’t they left behind

last year? Did the advertisers lie last year? Are they cheating now? Do

I need my eyes tested? Was my TV on the blink? Or is it because ‘Persil,

nearly clean - not really clean’ and ‘Persil, so good you have to use it

twice’ wouldn’t claim the high ground?

When, oh when will I be able to buy a powder that will get my whites

really right (to ’95 standards) but still be gentle with my coloureds,

prevent bobbling, have a built-in fabric conditioner, work at 40

degrees, be kind to the environment, get rid of those dreadful odours

that other powders leave behind and come in one of those dinky little

micro boxes? Oh yes, and if my clothes don’t disintegrate after half-a

dozen washes I really would be most grateful.

PS: Should anyone see that nice Jeff Banks while in possession of a can

of oil, do, please, give him a good dousing with it. He’ll (probably) be

only too happy to smile back and say ‘No problem, I can get that out at

40 degrees and still not lose any of the colour, with no bobbling

worries’. If anyone does manage this I promise to refund the cost of the

oil. (Any other ‘charges’ resulting from the action will have to be

faced by the perpetrator.)

Send your rant, in no more than 400 words, to Stefano Hatfield

Become a member of Campaign

Get the very latest news and insight from Campaign with unrestricted access to campaignlive.co.uk, plus get exclusive discounts to Campaign events.

Become a member

What is Campaign AI?

Our new premium service offering bespoke monitoring reports for your company.

Find out more

Looking for a new job?

Get the latest creative jobs in advertising, media, marketing and digital delivered directly to your inbox each day.

Create an alert now

Partner content