However, a mixture of David Dickinson, a dancing child, an idiot who swaps World Cup tickets for a TV (while wearing a horrible shirt and tie), flying mechanics, pulsing toothbrushes and mannequins with erect nipples is the recipe for sitting atop the less prestigious Turkey of the Week table.
With six months of 2006 gone, Mother is already way out in front of the competition with four picks. The agency's closest rivals are WCRS and Bartle Bogle Hegarty, with two picks to their name.
Leading the league of shame with three turkeys each already this year are Leo Burnett, JWT and the recent Cannes Grand Prix winner Abbott Mead Vickers BBDO.
However, they are not too far ahead of a strong chasing pack of poorness that includes Grey London (with its woman who prefers getting ready to go out to actually going out for Lenor) and Publicis (with its lady who stays with her boyfriend because he has a Go Ahead bar). All of these agencies are on two turkeys each and are more than capable of taking over the top spot.
The smart money now is definitely on Mother, which doesn't even have a turkey to its name, to be in pole position at the end of the year because BBH has two turkeys cancelling out its picks, Barclays (idiot staff) and Woolwich (white rastas), while WCRS has one (the Weetabix infomercial).
It's worth noting that both WCRS and BBH have their two picks from just one account each, 118 118 and Lynx. Diary will let people make up their own minds about which clients the quality creatives at these agencies work on.
However, with six months to go, there is still plenty of time left for any agency to create a couple of real gobblers and catch Burnett or AMV to be the biggest turkey this Christmas.
NO AGENCY BRANDS
4 Mother Amnesty, I Can't Believe It's Not
Butter, Pot Noodle, Boots
2 WCRS 118 118, 118 118
2 Bartle Bogle Hegarty Lynx, Lynx
1 Beattie McGuinness Bungay First Choice
1 Grey AOL
1 Clemmow Hornby Inge Tango
1 Publicis McCoy's
1 Marcel Orange
1 Leo Burnett Samsung
1 United Coke with Lime
1 Saatchi & Saatchi Carlsberg
1 VCCP The Sportsman
1 180 Amsterdam Adidas
1 Lowe Sure
1 DDB London Harvey Nichols
1 Profero Home Office
1 Fallon Ask.com
1 RKCR/Y&R Virgin Atlantic
1 Abbott Mead Vickers BBDO Department for Transport
1 4Creative Channel 4
3 Leo Burnett McDonald's, Frosties, Samsung
3 Abbott Mead Vickers BBDO RAC, Digital UK, Oral B Pulsar
3 JWT Special K Medley, Mazda, Rennies
2 Bartle Bogle Hegarty Barclays, Woolwich
2 Grey Seat, Lenor
2 Publicis Go Ahead, Asda
1 O&M Ford Fiesta
1 RKCR/Y&R Learn Direct
1 Wieden & Kennedy Nike
1 Saatchi & Saatchi Olay Regenerist
1 DLKW & Partners D&A
1 St Luke's Strongbow
1 Miles Calcraft Briginshaw Duffy Benecol
1 WCRS Weetabix
1 Economia Hero Fruit2Day
1 In-house Daily Express