DIARY: Who is playing who in adland version of the I'm A Celebrity jungle

With the new series of I'm A Celebrity ... Get Me Out Of Here in full swing, Campaign once again puts forward adland's "shadow" team of contestants and wonders how they'd face up to the stomach-churning challenges.

Rupert Howell, the McCann-Erickson chairman, is ... Lord Charlie Brocket.

The comparisons are obvious. Howell is jolly, talks a lot and has a massive country pile. However, there's an important distinction. When Howell began to worry about the overheads that came with joining the landed gentry, he didn't file an insurance claim. No. His methods were much more Draconian than that. He took a job at McCann.

Kate Harris, the chief executive of Nabs, is ... Jordan.

As well as sharing the same first name (Jordan's real name is Katie), the voluptuous Harris is more than a match for the glamour model when it comes to their most visible assets. This week, the amply endowed Jordan had a revolting encounter with a couple of cockroaches.

Doubtless Harris, who has had to deal with enough of the two-legged variety in the cause of charidee, could have given her valuable advice.

Jonathan Mildenhall, the managing director of TBWA\London, is ... Peter Andre.

Like the one-time pop star, the exhuberant Mildenhall is obsessed with the body beautiful and will rip off his shirt at the first decent opportunity. And, like Andre, the smooth-talking Mildenhall has an eye for self-publicity and a major ego containment problem.

Christine Walker, the founder of Walker Media, is ... Jennie Bond.

As the BBC's former Royal correspondent, the impeccably turned out Bond may have become acquainted with the upper echelons of society. But she's not a patch on the fragrant and regal Walker who knows absolutely everyone.

Also, we hope, it's an improvement on her last doppelganger in the first series of I'm A Celebrity ... Get Me Out Of Here ... a certain Christine Hamilton.

Mark Jarvis, the broadcast director of Carat UK, is ... Neil Ruddock.

Both Mark "Jarvo" Jarvis and Neil "Razor" Ruddock have spent their careers carefully crafting and honing their images as the self-appointed hardmen of their respective industries. But with the inevitable passage of time comes middle age and the truth is that both have been usurped by younger blades. Just remember not to say this to their faces.

Tony Davidson, the joint creative director of Wieden & Kennedy, is ... John Lydon.

Both have meticulously cultivated the bad boy, anti-establishment look to a tee. However, the pair also share that "rough-look-that's-too-groomed-to-really-mean-you're-tough". Like Lydon has already shown at times in the Australian jungle, underneath his carefully cultured anarchic exterior Davidson is perhaps more mainstream than he would care to admit.

Helen Weisinger, the new-business director at TBWA\London, is ... Kerry McFadden.

Weisinger, the self-confessed "princess", is too precious to do tents and go days without a manicure, darling. Like the former Atomic Kitten, the perfectly groomed Weisinger would probably be of very little value in anything other than a fireside chat. And the jury is out on whether or not she would snog Jordan in a moment of jubilation.

And finally, Andy Tilley, a partner at The Ingram Partnership, is ... Mike Read.

The poptastic blast-from-the-past DJ Read and The Ingram Partnership's groovy 80s throwback Tilley are both determined not to grow old gracefully.

But being able to grow your hair over your collar doesn't necessarily mean that you can still get down with the kids.


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