Diary: On the QT ...

Don't get high on your own supply, the drug-dealing mantra runs.

The same might be true of those in the booze industry if a series of calls to Bacardi's New York offices is anything to go by, with one corporate communications officer claiming not to know any of the company's ad agencies.

She didn't fare much better with her own company, drawing a blank when it came to naming a single member of her marketing department. The Bacardi departments need to get their diaries together as soon as possible ... For pretty obvious reasons there was no flashy summer party at Lowe London this year. Instead, agency staff gathered in Regent's Park for a "sporting afternoon" and kept their spirits up with egg-and-spoon and wheelbarrow races ... The French have never taken warmly to Peter Mayle, the one-time creative chief of BBDO in London, after his book A Year in Provence accounted the trials of life in rural France. Gerard Depardieu takes a more charitable view, however, and is expected to appear in the film of Mayle's novel, A Good Year ... A good turn-out from adland and media owners for the latest evening of intellectual stimulation to be hosted by Vizeum. The speaker was William Patey, the UK's new ambassador in Baghdad. His topic: "selling" Britain to Iraq.

Talk about the ultimate brief from hell.