"I watch hockey, so I know all about the offside law" ... Whoever is responsible for the hold phone music at IPG's Lowe London, recently relieved of its £45 million Tesco account, must enjoy gallows humour. While waiting to be connected, callers are being entertained by Dire Straits ... Not much originality in Lowe's Egyptian Tourist Board TV commercial, which sings the praises of the Red Sea Riviera. You would have thought somebody might have told them the English Riviera campaign, promoting Torquay, Paignton and Brixham, is the longest-running travel promotion in UK advertising.
It began in 1982 ... Red faces at Toast Marketing, which invited its friends for Christmas drinks at Hammersmith's Havelock Tavern. Unfortunately, the Havelock is, er, toast, having burned down earlier this year ... Who says art directors are no good with a pen? Euro RSCGLife's Jonathan Yiull has just had his ten-minute play shortlisted for the BBC Radio 5 Live Sports Shorts drama competition. Playing Away will be broadcast on Christmas Day.